I struggle with this SO MUCH. I get to the point where I think I have it mostly under control, where I end up wondering, "How can I possibly have to learn this lesson all over again?"
I so desperately want to be where Paul was at when he said, "...I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." (Philippians 4:11)
I realize it's a learning process, that there will be multiple opportunities that God gives me to practice contentment. My current situation is another lesson in the subject of contentment. I spent a wonderful weekend in Foresthill with my fiance and his family, and I absolutely loved being there with them. I didn't spend much time in the Word over the weekend, but I was humbled and blessed by God's grace in giving me a heart of peace as we drove to the Sacramento airport for my flight. I didn't cry. I meditated on Paul's learning to be content while I was sitting at the airport. I spent more time in the Word on the flight. I got home, cleaned my room, talked with my mom on the phone, and went to class at the hospital. From there I went to Lifegroup. It was just so go, go, go! that I didn't have time to contemplate contentment much.
But on days like today, with very little going on, there is time for my emotions to seem stronger than usual and for me to really contemplate what's going on in the depths of my heart.
I want my contentment to be founded solely in Christ. I want Him to consume me so much that I have every desire and longing satisfied in Him. But sometimes I long for other things or people. I don't want my contentment to be based on future earthly events that I am eagerly anticipating. Lord, please transform my heart to cry out, "Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:25-26
It's just so hard in the moment. But I will press on, my God is here with me, and He is mightily at work.
How do I go about learning contentment?
I will meditate on God's truths. Memorize, repeat...meditate on them in the night watches at the hospital.
1) "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." Philippians 4:11 [In Christ I have everything I need, and in Him I am content]
2) ...Being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you," so that we confidently say, "The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?" Hebrews 13:5-6 [Because the Lord is my helper, I am content]
3) "Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:25-26 [The strength of my heart is drawn from the Lord - He is my portion]
Jesus, please help me to learn contentment, to sit at Your feet, to rest in You, to be fully and completely satisfied in You no matter where I'm at in life.